The Point

In a true partnership, the kind worth striving for, the kind worth insisting on, and even, frankly, worth divorcing over, both people try to give as much or even a little more than they get. "Deserves" is not the point. And "owes" is certainly not the point. The point is to make the other person as happy as we can, because their happiness adds to ours. The point is -- in the right hands, everything that you give, you get.-Amy Bloom

As most of you should know, one of my goals as a part of the challenge is to stay out of relationships: no dating, no kissing, no sex NOTHING. I made this a goal because I realized that my biggest folly in relationships is not taking the time to get to know the person and getting an accurate feel for who they are, what they expect to put into a relationship and what they expect to get from me out of the relationship.

So often I found myself putting far more effort into making them happy than they were putting in to make me happy. Trust me, there's no crappier feeling than showing someone how much you care just to have them give you their ass to kiss in return. So, I broke off all ties with any exes and old flames, erased their numbers out my cell, deleted them on facebook and got rid of any old pictures, poems, letters or drawings in which they were the main subject matter.

I've been single for almost nine months now, and I must say I LOVE IT. I don't feel emotionally attached to anyone other than myself and my family. No more drama. No more arguments. No more dishonesty. Just me, myself and I to take care of. Don't get me wrong, at times it can be lonely to not have that special someone to curl up with or be goofy with, but I'll take a few hours of loneliness over a few weeks of headaches and drama any day.

Until I find someone who's willing to give what they get and vice versa, I'm just fine on my own <3

The Kid in Me

Allow me to introduce my all-time favorite childhood (and adulthood..lol) toy, Princeton. I remember my aunt helping me get enough tickets at the children's arcade to win him when I went to visit her for a summer in Arkansas. I took him EVERYWHERE. He was my main point during every other show-n-tell session in elementary school. And if I lost him (which I've only done twice since I was 6 years old) I'd freak out and nobody could move in the house until he was found. lol This stuffed animal has so much value to me; over the years, he has become the shoulder I lean on when I'm upset, the dance partner to assist me when I'm bored in my room and the pillow I sleep on at night. Eventually, when I decide to have children, I'll pass him on to them...but until then.. he's mine! (*Little Kid Voice*) :p

HoneyColor.com Review

About 2 months ago, I came across a trend that I immediately fell in love with: Circle Lenses. They make your eyes appear much larger than they actually are and can make almost any makeup look POP. Youtube review after youtube review, I carefully researched a bunch of different circle lense companies and finally made the decision to order them from a website called HoneyColor.com. They seemed to have the most reasonable priced lenses, PLUS at the time, they were having a holiday sale and the lenses I really wanted (The Geo Bambi Series) were on sale from their original $24.90 price to $19.12. In addition to having the lowest compared prices, HoneyColor was the only site I came across that didn't have a weird orderng process and spelled everything correctly on their site (I've always had a HUGE issue with sites that spell every other word wrong...seems far too shady if a company doesn't take the time to spellcheck their advertising.) With all factors taken in to account, I just KNEW I was making the right decision to purchase from them.I ended up ordering 5 different lenses (of which I have created video reviews for on my Youtube channel) Plus, I threw in an automatic lense cleaner and a travel case because I wanted the free express shipping that came with every order $100 and over. My total purchase was $108.40...Not bad for 5 pairs of lenses.

So, after I ordered them, I realized that the site's sale for the holidays would mean that they would not be shipping until a week after I had originally ordered my products, which was slightly irritating, because I didn't just spend $108 for "Express Shipping" (usually 2-3days) to have my  package come a week later. I'm extremely anal about things like that. BUT I gave them a chance and decided to just wait. Fast forward about 4 days, and STILL no package. What was even more concerning was the fact that when I went back on the site and into my account, my order was still "processing" but they had already taken my money the day after I made the order.Plus, I still did not have a tracking number for my package (Red flag #1). I decided to contact the company and ask them what was going on.

 Normally, I'd call any other company and get straight to the bottom of my issue with customer service but low and behold, there was NO customer service number, the ONLY way to get in touch with this company is to email them, which, nowadays is about as effective as mailing an actual letter to someone. Yet another red flag raised for this company.

About 3 days later, they got back to me saying that they would "fix" my order at their earliest convenience and reminded me that because of the holidays, my order would not be shipped until 7 days following my original purchase date. They also reassured me that my order would be processed in 2 days from the date they sent their response. At this point, it had already been two weeks since I placed my order. (Red Flag #3)

The next day, I received an email from PayPal (the billing company that HoneyColor uses) saying that I had received a partial refund of $12.90 (the exact price of the automatic lense cleaner). It didn't say why, but I assumed it was because they ran out of the product, which was fine, bc it was just my extra add-on and they were giving me my money back (supposedly, because I still have yet to see that $12.90 pop up on my account.)(Red Flag #4)

After several more days of being completely irritated with the lack of customer service and efficiency of this company, I finally received my order; which was missing the auto lense cleaner (the one they still charged me for.) Everything else was there, including the extremely cute animal circle lense cases and an extra bonus gift (a cute animal travel kit.) I'm very pleased with my products, with the exception of the Geo chocolate browns that I still haven't been able to put in my eyes (they feel like something is stabbing me in the eyes every time I attempt to put them in) but OVERALL, I would give the actual company a 1 out of 5 for their customer service. And quite frankly, after receiving my "express shipping" package almost 3 weeks later...a 1 is extremely generous.

The Challenge

I've decided it's time for a change. I realized I'm truly only happy when I've met a goal that I have set in place for myself, so (long story short) I will be setting 5 goals for myself [due to be completed by the end of this year]. The Challenge: Until I meet all 5 short term goals, I am NOT to use facebook, twitter, downelink, or any other social networking site. I am only allowed to use Youtube, my blog & my personal website to show you guys my progress. Seems like a pretty simple challenge, right? Here are the terms of the goals that must be set:

1. Challenges must fit into each of these categories:

Money

Health

Love/ Relationships

Community Service

Education

2. Challenge (all 5 goals) MUST be met/completed BEFORE January 1st, 12:00am

3. Lying about completing a challenge only means you are cheating YOURSELF. Try your hardest to achieve your goals :)

SO HERE WE GO....

My Goals:

Money: Save at LEAST $1000

Health: Lose 20lbs and start going to the gym frequently

Love/Relationships: Stay out of them unless something AMAZING comes along. No sex.

Community Service: Complete at least 100 hours of  voluntary community service (soup kitchen, women's shelter..etc.)

Education: Study Anatomy and know at least 20 facts about the human body by heart.

I think this challenge will be fun and super beneficial to my life in general. If you feel you would like to do this challenge, GO FOR IT! and keep me updated in your own progress :)

When I Get Married...

When I get married, I don't want to have to do so
Because mother nature has given me a "nine month" time limit.
I don't want to get married because he feels guilty.
Or because I didn't want to hurt his feelings when he asked.
I don't want to get married because I'm afraid to lose him.
Or because I feel it would change his cheating ways.

I don't want to get married because he promised to stop hitting me,
Or because I'm afraid he will if I don't.
I don't want to get married because she'll finally back off
Or maybe he'll stop leading her on.


When I get married,
If I should...
I want to get married because we're not perfect,
But our love for eachother has no flaws.


I want to get married because we may argue
But we're both always the first to apologize.
I want to get married because he'd never lay a finger on me
Unless we were making love.


I want to get married because I feel nervous butterflies
Because every time we're together feels like the first day we met.
I want to get married because I'm in love

And so is he.

And we're ready to spend the rest of our lives together.
No third wheel
No abuse
No drama
Just understanding, reason, responsibility, romance and love.
Because when I get married...
It'll be for keeps :)

-By Me

Getting Paid for Being Immoral

Just thought I'd share this story with you all to get your opinions on whether or not I should take action:


Okay, so I was at work today and the day was going by PAINFULLY slow until about around 12:40 or so a mentallly challenged woman comes in and starts looking around the store. She was a total sweetheart, she kept my co-workers and I busy for a good while and we explained to her a little of how we run the store (simply bc she had so many questions and let's face it..nobody was shopping today.)

Around 2, we noticed she was still there, so we asked her how exactly she got all the way to the store. She replied "My girl brought me" [Meaning the person who was hired to look after her] "Who's your girl, sweetheart" "Her name is Amber" "Oh okay, well where's Amber at, babe?" "She's going to do my laundry...she's helping me do my laundry bc when I do it, my back always hurts really bad." Then she goes on to tell us that she has no way of contacting Amber just in case because "Amber has a cellphone but I don't." She walked around the store a little longer, we gave her a place to sit and let her watch us rearrange the store, explaining where everything goes, why it goes there and so forth...still no sign of "Amber."

At this point, it's 6:45...the woman was STILL in the store, and we can tell she was getting restless [who wouldn't after waiting on someone for damn there 7 HOURS?!] Finally a car pulls up to the store and beeps, the woman recognizes Amber's car [by the way, the bxtch was too lazy to even get out and come into the store for her], we say goodbye to our friend, and they drive away.


Here's what seriously bothers me about this situation, WHY is this woman getting paid to NOT do her job. Especially when she deserted her mentally challenged client. Don't get me wrong, she was highly functioning, but that's not the point. Amber basically did whatever the fxck she felt like doing all day while WE [my staff and I] did what SHE's getting paid for, which isn't right for so many reasons.What if something had happened to this woman while Amber was off getting her hair and nails done. What if she had decided to go somewhere else besides our store and got lost? 

And sadly, this isn't the first time I've seem someone take advantage of their mentally challenged client. I can't even tell you how many times I've seen workers buy themselves clothes with their clients money and try to justify it.So what do you guys think, should I find out a way to report "Amber" and others like her for their selfish and immoral behavior?

Is THIS Love?

love
  /lʌv/ [luhv]
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.
sexual passion or desire.
4.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

I was looking up the definition of the word love [I know, I'm just weird like that] and I found these four definitions. Everyone at least once in their lives has asked themselves "what is true love?" and there are even a few people who feel they have already experienced it.

Some people have a straight, cookie-cutter short answer. While others describe it as "indescribable."

These mixed understandings of the term "love" lead me to a bunch of long-winding dead-end roads every time I try and find the answer to the question mentioned previously. If there are so many different definitions for love, then how is one supposed to know whether or not they are currently in or out of it? It can be described as passionate affection, but when a couple is too lovey dovey, that passion is considered fake and it usually burns out quick. It can be described as personal attachment...but then you have some people who absolutely hate their own blood. It can be described as sexual desire, but then you have many people that think sex should have nothing to do with whether or not you love someone. SO which is it?

Are those butterflies you tend to feel around that "special someone"' an indication that your heart is now shared with another person, or should it be a warning sign at the beginning of a pain filled road? Are those flames you initially felt SUPPOSED to fizzle out like a cheap 4th of july sparkler or are they supposed to burn on like the sun? Is the first person you ever fell in love with ACTUALLY the first person you ever fell in love with, or were they just the longest relationship you had ever been in up until then? Is being comfortable with someone considered being madly in love with them because you know they may be the one person that would never judge you for being you, or are they just that convenient part of a puzzle that has yet to be solved?

I've had many exes tell me they love me when I know they didn't mean it. likewise, I've had a select few rescind their initial undying love for me and tell me that they've never loved me [Which has an especially painful sting to it when it was someone I thought I loved.] What exactly does "falling in love" feel like, and how do you know that's what it feels like?

Idk, kinda just thinking out loud now. All I can be sure of is that I'm single and honestly not willing to fall in love until someone can tell me what it actually is.